We are all in this together! There is not an individual, couple, or family that doesn’t need a bit of help working through issues or situations. The strategies you have been using so far aren’t getting you the results you’d like. If so, consider meeting with a systemic family therapist. Here’s the basic principle… people are sensitive to other people and ultimately affect the people they are around. You have probably experienced this when you are in a grumpy mood and walk into a room where there is laughter and some silliness. Your mood may shift to be more light-hearted.
Systemic Family Therapy: Patterns and Puzzle Pieces
Systemic family therapists help couples and families discover patterns of behavior and thinking that may be getting in the way of a fulfilling life. Each family is unique and has special routines and rituals that get them through the day. Young children really thrive on routine and predictability- getting up, having breakfast, parent helps them dress for school or child care, loading in the car, and so on. The morning routine for an adolescent would look different because the teen can get up with an alarm clock, get dressed, and could maybe make their breakfast before heading to school.
Pieces of the self-skill puzzle are added as children grow and are allowed to make mistakes and find their rhythm in the new routines. Will there be tears? Yes! Will there be forgotten lunches and homework? Yes! There are consequences as patterns shift. These changes in expectations are often a point when families need a bit of help figuring out the new “normal”. Parents are needed less for the basic skills and more for the problem-solving and coaching support for family life.
Systemic Family Therapy: Good News and Hope
The really beautiful thing about systemic family therapy is that everyone has a voice and family members learn to hear and respect those voices. I am frequently amazed at the total brilliance of a child in the family who is the “identified problem” when their acting out or withdrawal is the voice of the family system. The child’s behavior could tell the family that the pace of life is too much right now or that they really miss their friends since they move across the state.
Hope is found in the smallest positive shift. Taking a step back and seeing the incremental changes leads to a more fulfilling life. Yes, there will be times when is seems that you are in the weeds and totally off the path. Interestingly, this is where family strengths come out! The family therapist can help identify those strengths and help you back on the path to a more hopeful future.
Now What?
Dr. Pam Rinn, LMFT Associate
I can help you figure out how to create new routines and rituals to help grow children and parents. It’s all about working together and finding the best solutions for your family. Interested in learning more about systemic family therapy? Call me, Dr. Pam Rinn, for a 15 minute consultation or to set up an appointment. 940-222-8703 Ext. 705
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