The Achiever Mindset

Posted · Add Comment


America rewards people who work hard on themselves and for others. We sometimes refer to this as the “American work ethic.” Being a great “anything” (athlete, worker, author, scientist, business person, etc.) is often talked about, written about, and greatly desired.

When you achieve many goals and get appropriately rewarded for your “excellence,” you may soon take on bigger and better goals for future. You now feel like you have VALUE!

If you achieve these same goals, but no recognition occurs, then it’s easy to start feeling resentful, passed over, and underappreciated. Examples include:

  • Another person taking credit for your work and getting rewarded
  • Another person being more “liked” or “visible” getting rewarded
  • A person or business taking advantage of what you do

If you don’t achieve your goals, this can also easily affect your whole perception of life. You can feel like you have LITTLE VALUE. Examples include:

  • Not enough time to accomplish the goals
  • Unrealistic goals
  • Lack of self-drive to accomplish the goals

It is surprisingly tempting over time to begin placing a large portion of your self-worth based upon the amount of accomplishments you achieve. How you feel about yourself starts becoming directly tied to the recognition, (or lack of it) you receive for your work and daily tasks in life.

It’s very similar to the tale of the boiling frog which describes a frog slowly being boiled alive. The story is that if a frog is suddenly put into boiling water, it will jump out. If it is instead put into cold water which is then brought to a boil slowly, it will not perceive the danger and will be cooked to death.

What begins as healthy striving to better yourself and feel good about your life, slowly can become all-consuming and quite unhealthy. There is nothing unhealthy about having goals, striving to achieve them, and sometimes being rewarded for them. In fact, it can be quite satisfying and pleasurable. However, when your thoughts, actions, and behaviors required for achieving those goals become out of balance, all sorts of unintended and unforeseen consequences may follow. Examples include:

  • Absence of a “quiet mind” – never-ending thought loops about or related to the goals
  • Inability to rest – while not working on these goals, feelings of guilt or falling behind
  • Feeling anxiety – nervousness or unease about any area in life with an uncertain outcome

Have your initially good intentions and worthy goals transformed into behaviors, thought patterns, and feelings that make you wonder, “Why is this happening to me?”  Please contact me at 940-222-8703 ext 702, or email me at [email protected] and allow me the privilege of journeying alongside you.

Renee Pfeffer, M.A LPC Intern supervised by Christy Graham, LPC Supervisor Registered Play Therapist Supervisor

Renee Pfeffer, M.A LPC Intern supervised by Christy Graham, LPC Supervisor Registered Play Therapist Supervisor

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *